10/30/03, 2:47pm.
I hopelessly, helplessly wonder why...
And now for the random shit.

Peter Pan peanut butter is not good. Stupid Wilkie for not selling Skippy.

My birthday is next Wednesday. This is last time I'll be pimping for gifts. It shames me...but I like getting gifts. Almost more than I like to give them...but I think I actually get more pleasure in other people's happiness. Anyway...

Last night, I went to Wal-Mart at midnight. For no reason. And in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have gone. Because I didn't get home until 2. Nah, the worst part was staying up talking with Annie and Lela until 6am. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Three hours of sleep and I woke up late with 18 minutes to get ready and get to class. I usually leave at 9:10, and I didn't get up until 9:12. But I STILL made it to class on time. Boo-yah! I slept through class, but at least I was there.

When I got back from art, I slept for a bit, and have been kinda slacking since then. I had lunch, and now I'm going to study for my acting midterm. Yay studying... uh...yeah.

Oh yeah. It's also opening night tonight. Yay for Unwrap Your Candy and Vampire Lesbiens of Sodom!

Current Music: Hopeless - Train

10/29/03, 12:17am.
She'll see I'm not so tough...
Gail = bitter bitch. DAMN YOU, SCORPIO!!!!

*ahem*

Today was fine. Katie and I were silly and stayed up until 2am last night, so waking up 6 hours later was not so happy. My morning classes were more hellish than usual.

Then I napped briefly before acting. Which I've come to truly detest with a great passion. I tried to give it a chance, I really did...but it's so bad. There are a few of us who sit in a corner and countdown those precious moments until the end of class. It's wretchid.

Then I skipped choir because I had tech tonight. Another one which ran and hour and a half long. *sigh* All it really prevented me from doing was my laundry. Which is now taking up 5 washers downstairs. Party on.

Optimistically, I'll be done with laundry by 2am, and in bed by 3am. Then I can wake up at 11:20, after 8+ hours of sleep...go to my three classes in three hours (drain-o-rama) and come back and nap from 3:30pm until whenever I need to wake up for final dress at 8. Should be fine. I hope. And I'll need to do my history assignment tomorrow, as well as study for my acting midterm. Yucky.

And now...I'm going to go wait for my laundry to switch to the dryers and maybe type up my French composition that's due on Friday.

Current Music: Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

10/28/03, 12:11am.
But we just can't stay together, can't you see it's true...
Patty and I are updating sites together. Dorky, but yay! ;-)

In other news, my tech tonight ran an hour and 45 minutes late. Heads were going to roll. But now I'm eating rice and calming down. Because rice cures all evils. Carole King isn't bad for that either. I especially like her "fuck men" songs. Because yes. Males suck.

In other news...9:30am classes suck. I don't want to go tomorrow. If we didn't have to turn in an assignment, I would ditch. Get some quality sleep. Last night, I got 11 hours. I'm sick, so it felt SO GOOD.

I'll be getting to bed soon. Because I need at least 8 hours of sleep. And I'm not going to get it. I also need to do laundry because my floor looks like a bad department store exploded. Damn.

Current Music: It's Too Late - Carole King

10/26/03, 8:10pm.
You can't make your heart feel something it won't...
The concert went surprisingly well. I actually sang, which was good, and it didn't hurt too much.

My feet in those shoes...well, that's another story.

No one came. Which is kinda disappointing. Granted I didn't publicize it a lot...because I tend to be modest about things like that...but people still knew. And I had the location and time on my door.

*sigh* Oh well.

I might actually get to bed really early tonight. Even though I don't have to be up until 12:30pm, 12 hours of sleep would be really nice if I could arrange it. We'll see, I suppose.

I close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me.

Morning will come
And I'll do what's right,
Just give me 'til then
To give up this fight.

Current Music: I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt

10/26/03, 5:17pm.
When will we fall down...
Illness is keeping my voice from being strong. Or able. And therefore, I will be lip syncing the concert tonight. But my tech ended 45 minutes early so that I was able to return Taxi Driver (which I watched yesterday. WEIRD ass movie) and make myself dinner. Now I have to get ready to go to call, and I think I'll be going to bed early tonight...

10/25/03, 1:03pm.
Believe me, Adia, we are still innocent...
Damn, the amount of geekiness that was going on last night. First, of course there was the loading of Panther, which I am so über grateful that Chad let me use his disks, so I didn't have to spend $70! OPA!!

Then there was the figuring out how to mooch internet connection through airport cards and networking. That was sweet! We CAN be wireless here!!!

Oh, and who can forget having a chatroom with the 4 people who were all in the same room. *shame*

But it was so fun!

Today, I plan to work on making my site prettier...I don't know how, but it will happen. I hope. And I'm spent...

Current Music: Adia - Sarah McLachlan

10/25/03, 3:54am.
We sleep all, we sleep all day...
Long night. Lots of geekdom. Panther is rocking hard. And I'm trying to make the site look all nice and pretty, but I'm just fucking shit up. I'll fix it when it isn't 4am...

Current Music: Sleep All Day - Jason Mraz

10/24/03, 1:22am.
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago...
Finished my picture project. The only "noticeable" differences would be the lacking of several and the lower quality of the ones that are still there. That should have brought my usage down significantly. Like... 10MB significantly. </geek>

I'll probably head to bed soon. But I'm not too tired, and the fact that Friday is coming up makes me very happy. I have no homework to do for tomorrow and I get a bit of a break. This weekend, I need to finish burning West Wing episodes to CD. It would make me feel very space efficient, especially after fixing the pictures.

And so...that leaves me with this random bit of...whatever: Wishing on stars. If it comes true, does it really have anything to do with you? How much do you have to want it for it to come true? If it worked once, will it work again soon, or is there a time period you have to wait before you try again?

I'm looking for the right time, and the right place. And Bonnie Raitt is in my head.

Current Music: Flinch - Alanis Morissette

10/22/03, 11:39am.
She says she's tired of life, she must be tired of something...
I don't want to go to classes today...but that's nothing horribly new. Wednesdays are tough because I go straight from class to class for three hours. I don't have an attention span for that anymore!

I think I'm going to have another 11pm rehearsal tonight. Boo! It wasn't bad last time because I didn't have class until noon, but tomorrow I have a 9:30 class. I guess this means I have to do my homework early. And maybe watch West Wing. Or just watch one of the episodes that I downloaded or something...since this season sucks. *sigh*

I guess I should get ready for class. BOOOOO!

Current Music: 'Round Here - Counting Crows

10/22/03, 1:21am.
Pppp, pppp, pppp, pppp, pppp, pppp, pppp, pppp, poison, poison...
Working on an overhaul of picture pages. Nothing visible, but giving myself more room on the site. Opa.

Happy Birthday, Carly!!

Which means there is exactly 2 weeks until my birthday. And incase you forgot... my amazon wish list is available online. O:-)

Going to bed. After being up way too long and not getting enough accomplished.

Current Music: Chad..."pppp"ing?

10/21/03, 1:04pm.
One part of me just wants to tell you everything...
Cleaned the room. Made lunch. Have not set up health center appointment. But I talked to Zoe on the phone for about 45 minutes.

Next, I'll be memorizing my monologe for acting, and possibly napping. I should also practice my choir music, but I'm tired and my foot is objecting to going to the Annex for a practice room.

I listened to this song three times on the way home from art.

Current Music: I Will Not Take These Things For Granted - Toad the Wet Sprocket

10/21/03, 12:27am.
I could see by the look in her eye...
Back home in Bloomington. I left home in Deerfield at 6:15 this morning. Was so nice to be able to stay for Sunday night too. And the drive wasn't too bad. I slept for most of it.

The weather was nice today too. And things have been slow around here. In that way where they are never really slow...but in comparison, not so bad. Had a nice 2-hour conversation with a friend on the floor. It's so good to talk. So nice to be one-on-one. Quiet and privacy are two things that aren't always easy on a floor of 55.

Daddy wants me to get my foot checked out at the heath center. I should, I suppose. I've kind of decided that it's broken. Or fractured mildly. I should be an expert by now. But I refuse to wear that damn boot again!

I really need sleep though. I'm tired and I have to wake up in 8 hours. Early morning history classes will be the death of me. This is the last one I take. I swear to it.

The confines are again ready to eat my soul. I must go.

Tori'd been driving from this town for a while
Playing with the thought of leaving...

Current Music: Victoria - John Mayer

10/19/03, 10:15pm.
Daniel says it's the best place he's ever seen...
Another fun-filled day...though not as hectic.

I woke up around 11am.Knowing that mommy wanted to do shopping, I tried to make myself available for her. Which meant that instead of taking a Fazoli's run with Molly and Johnson, we stayed in town and hit Panera. So I was back home by about 3. But Mama didn't get home until 4, so we probably could have gone up to Kenosha. But oh well. During Thanksgiving!

Anyway, Mama and I made a quick run to Target...buying small stuff that I've run out of like shampoo and face wash. Then we went to dinner at the Olive Garden. Mmm...more real food! The parents, Judy, Chris, Zoe, Dave and Katie all came for my goodbye dinner. Yay!

After, I went over to Becca's to hang out with her for a bit. 'Twas fun. Short, because the silly girl has homework and school in the morning, but fun never the less.

Now I'm packing up stuff I need to bring back to school, and chilling out. I'm leaving early in the morning, so I should get some more sleep than usual. Besides, I'm exhausted today for some reason. So I'll probably wrap this up, and not work on my history homework. (I actually did French homework earlier!) So, goodnight y'all.

Current Music: Daniel - Elton John

10/19/03, 12:44am.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna make it home again...
I'm home. And so incredibly happy.

I guess I didn't realize just how much I missed everything here. My family, my cat, driving to Evanston, the high school theatre, my friends back home. It was so overwhelming how completely ecstatic I felt this morning just driving through Deerfield. Even when I was cut off by a "beautiful person" who was yaking on her cell phone and didn't signal, it reminded me of home much fun it can be to drive here. It's more exciting. Seriously.

And this morning I had a Berry Lime Sublime from Jamba Juice. And went to see the tech of DHS's production of Arsenic and Old Lace. Got to see Eric, Susan, and a slew of high school kids like Molly, Johnson, Cark and Scheckter. And the actor-types like Mel, Mini, Ross, Adam, and Petchenik. Goddamn, there is nothing better than the Deerfield High School theatre program. Maybe the talent isn't stellar or Broadway style, but damn do they know how to build a set, and decorate with props, and hang those lights, and call a show, and have fun while doing it. The community is what I miss. College theatre lacks that entirely. I guess it will never be like that again. Sure, people get along...but truly? I would want more from a company.

Enough coveting my old high school years...then I went to the homecoming football game. We kicked Maine East(?)'s ass! It was 42-0 when I left, and rumor has it we scored another touchdown after. Nice. And I got to see marching band people, like my little Beccalina!!!! It was uber exciting, and I'll be going out with her tomorrow. Also talked to the Crystal parents before heading off.

And to complete a full day of Crystal-ness, I went to Evanston and had Chili's for dinner with Jason. Fun was had, and good food! Not dorm food, or microwaved rice, or pasta or the crap I usually eat. Aww yeah!

Because he had some stuff to do at 6, Jason dropped me off at Patty's dorm and I hung out with him...for the rest of the night. I saw Chazz a little, and Candace for a bit. And I napped on Patty's bed for about an hour (maybe more?) but other than that, it was just the two of us. And I didn't get beaten once! ;-)

We went to Kaffine for desert around 9 (mmm...Oreo sundae!!!!) and then walked over to the lake. We sat around and chatted for a while, while I coveted my beautiful city and lake and suburbs and realized that after I graduate from IU, I'm never leaving the city/suburban life again. I miss it so much. And I need a water source that's larger than the "Jordan River." :-p

We went back to Patty's dorm and sat around for a bit more, and around 11:30, he walked me back to my car so I could head home.

Today has been so entirely wonderful. Old friends that I truly adore. A school and town and life that I never realized was so great until I left it behind. Don't get me wrong, I'm liking school and all. New friends are wonderful, but there's definitely something about the old safety of home that has really got me wishing that I had more than just tomorrow. But Thanksgiving is coming up in a little over a month, and then there's Winter Break for 3 1/2 weeks. It will be good.

And now...I try to figure out how to change the IP address of my other computer so that I can get the wireless connection working. I want internet on my laptop! NOW!!

So much love. *smooches*

Currently Music: Home Again - Carole King ;-)

10/16/03, 12:15am.
Jane doesn't believe a man could ever be faithful...
I am "Jane."

In other news, I hate writing my history paper. I want to be done with it now.

Current Music: Jane - Barenaked Ladies

10/15/03, 4:26pm.
No words to say, no words to convey, this feeling inside I have for you...
Apparently my mother is now reading the site. And she expressed a concern over the language used. I will from now on try to keep it a bit cleaner. :-)

On an entirely different note, I was walking home from French class today, listening to my iPod (as usual) and I had a strange mix of songs come right after each other. First, there was Tracy Chapman's "For You"...

No words to say,
No words to convey,
This feeling inside I have for you.
Deep in my heart,
Safe from the guards
Of intellect and reason,
Leaving me at a loss
For words to express my feelings.

Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over.
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man.

10/12/03, 10:50pm.
Still I wish there was something you would do or say...
That's right. I've been slacking again.

Instead of doing my work, I was distracted by more web design stuff. I'm actually rather impressed with that I did.

If you will notice, there is an archives section, with links at the bottom of this page. Obviously, it doesn't take much of a genius to link pages. However! I learned how to use name anchors. (Notice, if you click the link above, it will take you to the bottom of the page.) Also, on all of the archived month pages, there is a "back" link at the bottom which will redirect to the bottom of the homepage where the name anchor is attached to "archives."

Maybe I'm a geek, but I think this is cool, and I'm proud of not only my slick design for the archive links, but for my mad skillz in being able to do the fun anchoring stuff! YAY!

Current Music: Don't Think Twice - Bree Sharp

10/12/03, 9:35pm.
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me...
*sigh* Paper-writing sucks.

The good news is that I recently got an email from my history professor saying that the paper isn't due until Thursday's class. Yay! But our class reading assignment is still due on Tuesday. BOO!

But I also have a museum/Art paper due Tuesday and my big Media/film paper is due Thursday. And at some point this week, I have to go see Betty's Summer Vacation because I have a theatre paper due on it next Tuesday. Not to mention that I'm performing my final scene for a grade on Tuesday. Fuckin' A...this week sucks.

Oh, and then in two weeks? I have midterms AND tech week. @(@*#&$*(#@!!!

Then after that, is my birthday and Parent's Weekend. *sigh*

Alright, I should get back to work. Too much procrastination makes the baby go blind...or something.

It's aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out,
How your good intentions turn to doubt,
The way you needed time to sort it out...

Current Music: Leave - Matchbox Twenty

10/11/03, 7:55pm.
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart...
Today has been a long, slow, tired, boring, and overall sucky day.

Highlights? Talking to Jason on the phone for 10 minutes and my current conversation with Patty on AIM.

*sigh* I miss home. Sort of. I miss my siblings. I miss my friends. I sometimes miss my Daddy a lot. My mom makes herself so incredibly present in my life through daily cards, postcards and emails that I can't forget that she's not in my life so much anymore.

And you'd speak of your loved ones,
as I clumsily strummed my guitar.

Current Music: Foolish Games - Jewel

10/10/03, 3:38am.
You'll start to think you were born blind...
Apparently in college, the popular time to do your laundry is Thursday night at 9pm. Because when I went to do mine...all 8 washers were in use. And when I went back to check again, 3 subsequent times before 1am, they were still in use.

Thus! I did not get started with my laundry until 1:15am. Oh joy. The good thing is that I was able to monopolize 4 washers at once. And that I don't have class until 12:20pm tomorrow.

However, I still need to get some sleep. I just thought it would be nice to post about my fabulous laundry experience. Excuse me while I collapse from extreme exhaustion.

Oh, and then there's this. An amazing song that's been playing through my mind for the past couple days. So painfully and beautifully sad.

Somebody oughta take you in
Try to make you love again,
Try to make you like the way they feel
When they're under your skin.
Never want you to think they would lie
When they're holding you,
And you wonder why they haven't called
When they said they'd call you.
And you start to wonder if you're ever going to make it by,
You'll start to think you were born blind...

10/09/03, 1:12am.
When she was warm and tender, and you held her arms around you...
http://www.amazon.com....hee hee!

Yes, I'm an über whore pimping slut.

Media test. Uh...fuck. It was going SO well. I was answering things correctly, I was confident, I knew what I needed to know. Sure, there were some doubts in my mind...but overall fine. And I started the essay. One of the BEST I've written in my life. Well supported and thought out. I was just finishing with 20 minutes left in the class.

And then I realized that my essay was on the wrong film. I was analyzing Casablanca instead of The Big Sleep. Right actor, wrong film.

So I started over and wrote a crappy essay. And I forgot some of the parts of the film and others I think I confused with The Maltese Falcon. Goddamn you, Humphrey Bogart!!!

*sigh*

Then there was the rehearsal I forgot to go to. My SM had to call me and remind me...AHHH! I hate fucking up like that. BAD GAIL! My director is a student, so she's uber forgiving...but still. FELT SO BAD!

And then there was West Wing. URG! It's like pulling teeth recently. I can't say this enough. Aaron Sorkin needs to come back. But I'm not giving up yet. 3 episodes are alright to get the groove. Next week will be better. ...I hope.

That's my day. The highlight? Getting an email from my history professor saying that our assignment due Thursday was being pushed to next Tuesday. Rock.

And now to bed. To stop complaining. But I will remind you again, that in 28 days, I will be turning the big 1-9. And free e-cards would be SO very appreciated, but gifts from amazon.com would be that much better. Love you!!

Current Music: The Difference - Matchbox Twenty

10/08/03, 10:21am.
When we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek...
I have two hours until my first class today. In this time I really need to shower and finish studying for my Intro to Media class. I am still shaky on the dates of the silent films (Sherlock Jr. was Buster Keaton in 1924?) and this is going to be the über hard one. My art test yesterday went REALLY well...I think.

Also on the agenda for today...dishes, take out the trash, finish my history homework before 3am for once, and West Wing.

West Wing. Has been making me sad. I've been on a downloading spree, so I've been getting all the stellar 3rd season episodes, the wonderful 2nd and 4th, (not so many 1st because I have the DVDs coming in November!!!) and then I watch this fifth season. And it makes me REALLY want to bear Aaron Sorkin's children, because I bet they would have more talent from the womb than the writers (and directors) that are currently working on the show. COME BACK, AARON!!!!!

*breathes* I'm better now. I swear. And maybe now that John Goodman is getting his ass out of the oval office, things will be better. Because that is a fucking talented cast...they can make anything sound good. Right? RIGHT? They can act and make that crappy dialogue and strange situations seem plausible. Please, god, let this get better. Until they do, I'll just watch my 3rd and 4th season episodes that I've downloaded. I have 19+, not counting the 1st and 2nd seasons.

Mmm...fandom.

Current Music: Heaven - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

10/05/03, 10:24pm.
Glory, one song to leave behind...
Cincinnati rocked. The first night, I met up with Goldy and he drove the both of us up to Oxford, Ohio (Miami University of Ohio) where we met up with Zoe. We saw Caitlin for a bit, but mostly just chilled with Zoe and her new college friends. We crashed the night there (since we didn't get there until about midnight anyway. It was SO GREAT to see people from back home again. I hadn't in the six weeks I've been here.

The next morning, Goldy drove me back to Cincy where I joined back up with my friends (Jess, Erik, Carl, Lela, Allyson, and Alex) and we went to the Ohio Rennaissance Faire. I think Bristol is better, but it was still a good time.

That night, we grabbed a quick dinner that Jess's parents made us. Good lasagna! Then we dashed to the Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival Theatre where we saw one of the greatest performances I've ever seen. It was a fabulous rendition of Taming of the Shrew. It was original script but they had 20's garb, an amazing (yet simple) set and Kate was a spunky supporter of women's sufferage. It was great. We stuck around a bit after so Jess could say 'hi' to some of her friends in the cast. It was uber UBER cool. It reminded me why I'm majoring in theatre. It all just made me so incredibly happy. Theatre makes me happy.

Sunday, we had a loooooong breakfast. Starting about noon thirty and ending about two hours later. We were eating while cooking and it was so excellent. Good, homemade food. YUM! Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and some German sausage-y thing. *drools*

We played in a local park for a bit. Rolling down hills and chilling on benches. Then we left Cincinnati and got back here around 6:30pm. So it really took up all weekend. But it was good. I've just finished uploading a bunch of pictures from last week, and the weekend. Check out the pictures page for the newest ones.

My only bad news is that my ftp upload program game me a thing that said "You don't have enough space BLAH BLAH BLAH can't upload BLAH BLAH BLAH I'm a punk ass server without enough room for you BLAH BLAH BLAH pay if you want more room PAY MORE!!!" Okay, so that wasn't exactly what it said, but either way, I had to delete the video clips and might have to start deleting some of the pictures soon. BOO! Or I pay money for more space. Zut alors!

Current Music: Annie guitaring "One Song Glory" from RENT

10/03/03, 1:53pm.
Laughing like children, living like lovers...
EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! SO excited!

Why?

Because I'm going to Cincinnati!

And the best part about it will not be going to the Renaissance Festival, or seeing Taming of the Shrew, though I'm sure they will both kick some major ass.

The real reason I'm excited is because I'll be seeing Goldy and Zoe tonight!!!!! And with any luck, I'll be able to see Carly at some point as well. But this might be more difficult.

Friends! Unlike the NU kids, the Madison kids, the U Cincy kids and the Miami of Ohio kids...I am not at a school with any of my friends. I see Hillary Scharmann a lot, and Zander on occasion, and I sit next to Alli Green sometimes in Media, but that doesn't count much.

REAL FRIENDS! In like...6 hours!

And now I need to shower and pack! Because I'm a slob and I'm not going to French today. HA!

Current Music: (I Guess That's Why They) Call it the Blues - Elton John