03/30/04, 10:19pm.
Nothing is as bad as you want it to be...
I'm stupid because I keep thinking it's April and there are only
30 days. But no, there are 31 in March. So the last post lied.
I was anticipating having tomorrow be the first day of April, or
something...
Basically, disregard my babble about the end of March. That's for
tomorrow. ;-)
The movies were interesting. Indiana Jones is so good, and Evil Dead
is just so bad.
So you know that English paper I keep talking about? Well now I'm
actually going to go finish it...then email it off to Marie.
Yeah, I'm a bit of a slacker.
Current Music: Lost on Me - Stretch Princess
03/30/04, 2:55pm.
She knows, she's been here too few years, to be gone...
Last post of March. YAY! April is now on the horizon...which
is a bit scary, but it also means that I have very little
class left before summer.
Today was kinda gross, cold and rainy. But I made it a comfy
day and have been wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt all
day.
Making lunch, I'll be finishing up my rough draft of my English
paper, sending it to my teacher, and then probably napping until
my screening. Tonight is Raiders of the Lost Ark and Evil
Dead II. I think we should be watching Army of Darkness, but I
suppose he was going for an actual horror movie...the type that Jaws
spawned (which was actually just a take off of Psycho, but whatever).
Today in class we compared and contrasted Coppola and Spielberg. It
was really interesting. I need to see the Godfathers (or at least I and
II) and Jaws.
Anyway. I'm going to get back to my paper. And eating my lunch.
Assuming I'm not going crazy. I went to take it out of the microwave
and noticed that I had been cooking only water. I didn't add the rice
mix in. Ah, senility sets in early...
Current Music: Hang - Matchbox 20
03/29/04, 11:08pm.
One last chance to feel alright...
Long day, party of one.
It all started when I woke up at 4:30am in my bed in Deerfield.
Oh yeah, 4 hours of driving, watching dawn break, and knowing
that as soon as I get back to school (at 10am), I have an hour
to study for my art history test and no time to rest.
I still have not really rested today. Art test was a little on
the hard side. Probably because I only got that one hour to
study. Yesterday I was too busy working on the English paper...
which I got an extension on because I emailed Marie and told
her I was struggling with it. Which I am. I can't get my
support to fit my thesis. One or the other should change, but
I'm not quite sure how.
Anyway, Art test, then lunch. Then French, which was full of discussing the
crap we will have to do for our oral exam. A 3-4 minute dialogue about a topic
we'll be picking from a hat, and then a one minute monologue. We did a lot of
pronunciation today and I think my accent it getting better. It wasn't until
the beginning of this semester that I realized how atrocious I sounded. It wasn't
French, it was Americanized French. Yuck.
Then there was English, which was odd today, and full of fun, in
a bad way...where it was all just too distracting. Oh well,
there's always Wednesday. I finally return to the dorm, and decide
I should move my car from the lot it was illegally parked in. The
good news: I didn't get a $35 ticket. Boo-yah! It's always a gamble,
but I have managed success today.
Katie and I chilled this afternoon for about an hour and a half. I
was working on the NYTimes crossword and she played with my hair,
coming up with interesting do's...some of which died at the end of
the 80's and should stay that way. Side-tails? Seriously, what
the fuck was someone thinking? That's not cool.
Then came dinner, and this optional French study thing, where I got
extra credit for answering some questions. It was actually really
confusing. Oh well, it's not graded. And Ashley from my class said
that she didn't get it either.
Then I went running. Which I haven't done for a while, and was both
good and bad. I started a little too quickly, and paid for it. My
endurance sucks, but that's to be expected. With any luck, I'll
actually have the commitment to run often.
I have since showered, finished my math homework, talked to Allie,
Zoe, Molly and Buortau, and updated this. I have yet to finish my
English rough draft, but I'm emailing it to her tomorrow. The way
I see it, I can type it in Finite. Because that class sucks.
Tis all for now. I know it was long, but it was to emphasize that I've
been up for the past 18 hours and have been running non-stop for most
all of them. And now...English paper! Or sleep. It's all the same.
Current Music: Paradise - Vanessa Carlton
03/28/04, 7:50pm.
The cruelest lies are often told without a word. The kindest
truths are often spoken, never heard...
You know how you can listen to a certain song 30 times and
never truly get it until that one time that you really
listen, and it just makes you stop and think.
It's taken me a while, but I've been reading the lyrics to
the Ben Folds Live album, and it's all so damn beautiful and
powerful. So now I'm listening and loving the album so much
more. And I'm trying to write an English paper and just won't
come. And I should be studying for art history.
Oh, and I'm still in Deerfield, though I thought I'd be well
on the road by now. A storm moved in, and since I wouldn't
be able to head out until later anyhow, I just decided to stay
overnight and leave at 5am tomorrow morning. I'm tired already.
I want something that I can't grasp. I want something that I
can't understand. I want something, but I don't know what.
Current Music: The Last Polka - Ben Folds
03/28/04, 12:53am.
Are you sure of yourself? Would you lie if you're not...?
Today was Eric's birthday celebration, which was quite excellent.
Started at noon with Flat Top lunch, when we wandered to Old Orchard.
We played at the Apple Store, then went to see Dawn of the Dead.
[...] Yeah. I hate scary movies...but it wasn't bad because it was a
classic zombie flick, obviously B, exploitation film, etc. I screamed
a lot, but it's not freaking me out currently, so I should be safe.
If I have dreams about a zombie biting me, I'll be very angry though.
;-)
Then we went to Best Buy where I was weak and purchased Chinatown
and Edward Scissorhands (I finally found it in widescreen!!). I
know I don't have the money to do this with, but...I caved.
We meandered for a while before heading to Cheesecake Factory to put in
the reservation and waiting for the people who were joining for dinner
to show up. I got to see Bridgette, Mary, Steph and Elliott, none of whom
I've seen since December at the Crew Break Party. It was excellent. I
missed them.
Dinner was fabulous and expensive. The $40 I took out of the ATM this morning
was exactly enough for lunch and dinner combined. Oh yeah, money seems
to disappear faster than I can make it. Anyway, dinner was followed by a
trip to Eric's apartment to hang out. The boys played Egyptian Rat Screw,
and I talked some with Bridgette. We left a bit after midnight, and I have
since returned to Deerfield.
I'm stuck here until at least 4pm tomorrow. I will be attending my niece
Zoe's birthday party, which starts at 3. If I leave at 4 (which will probably
be more like 4:30) and it takes 4 hours, I'll be in Indiana at 9:30 (factoring
in the Eastern time change). But with Sunday traffic and the construction
that's starting on the Edens, 80-94, and 65...it might take until later. Oh
boy. I'm looking forward to that one.
Well, I'm contemplating watching a movie before bed, but either way...I'm
going to wash my face and brush my teeth. Hmm...perhaps that's too specific.
Meh, I'm *poofgone*.
Current Music: Put Your Arms Around Me - Texas
03/27/04, 10:08am.
...
Listening to iTunes Music Store clips of Tchaikovsky's Sleeping
Beauty. Act III was part of the Spring Ballet last night, and it
was amazing. So glad I stayed for it. Justin, Gracie, Caitlin,
Sam and Chris where all amazing. I'm so proud of our floor (and
friends!).
Then I drove home for 4 hours, which was less than delightful. It
was foggy beyond belief. Visibility of maybe 200 feet...which is not
very much. And I was exhausted and forgot my water bottle in the
fridge at school. But I put on the Mamma Mia soundtrack and belted
out some high energy ABBA tunes and that kept me driving. There were
some spots of heavy construction where if I had been driving this
morning, I would have hit some major snags.
Now, Mama's making bacon and eggs for breakfast, and in an hour, I'll
be [...]
So I stopped updating half-way through an entry. It's now 11:16, I have
procured a bit of breakfast, I've showered and in 4 minutes, I'm supposed
to be picking up the Crystal. I suppose I should get on that...
Happy Saturday, folks!
Current Music: Tchaikovsky
03/25/04, 4:46pm.
Truth be told I've tried my best, but somewhere along the way...
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
7 and a half hours of lecture, test, lecture, discussion, meeting
with English teacher and I'm just about ready to kill someone!
I guess the good news is that Advertising paper and test are now
both out of the way...and I think I did poorly on both. Ahhhh.
And now I'm starving because I haven't eaten since my 9am granola
bar. Too many classes, too often.
BUt I have homework to do, and I should get organized to leave for
the weekend. My room is a mess. It's disgusting. But first, I think
I'll do math, because that's relatively easy, and logic is good for
me when I'm horribly unbalanced on estrogen. That's what I'm blaming
this all on. Changing pills is making me crazy! It has nothing to do
with how I'm actually feeling. It's the chemical's fault.
Oy. Save me?
Current Music: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
03/24/04, 11:06pm.
It's late in the evening...
With the good, comes the bad. Highlights of today: Beautiful weather. Talked
to Zach for a bit. Lows: Writing a crappy English outline. Knowing I have to
study for Advertising. Missing my friends too much.
Every time I go home, it's harder to leave and come back here. Bugger. I've
decided that I'm going to leave late-night Friday. I won't tell mommy, cause
she'll worry. And I know Lela said I shouldn't. But I want to get home. Sleep
in my own bed. With my kitty. Who I miss like mad. With luck, I'll get in at 2am
CST, so I can sleep a full 8 hours before getting up for lunch with Eric and
the rest of the world. As Zoe said, "I'd be glad to have half that many friends
when I'm 28."
Well, Advertising is calling. So I should get on that. Funny...I have an urge to
clean. Or go running. Methinks I'm stressed.
Current Music: Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
03/24/04, 1:25am.
'Round here, they're calling out our names...
The internet finally came back around 6pm tonight. Two days without
was severely detrimental. I didn't do my math assignment that I thought
was due tomorrow, and in fact was due today because I couldn't check
last night before bed...Katie was already asleep. Oh well. What's 6.5/26
really going to affect me?
The paper was finished not too late...around 1am. It was decent. Not great,
but I'm hoping for a B. I was surprised that my midterm grade was a B-
and not anything lower, so I'm hoping to bring it up to at least a B. I have
an A- in French and Hollywood II that I also want to try to bring up. It
will help that today in Hollywood II we got back a test and I got a 98%. Yeah,
I did a little happy dance in my head.
Tonight we had a thesis workshop at my English teacher's house. It was useful,
but I think I just enjoyed the fact that I could speak intellectually with
people in trying to aid others. My own thesis sucks, but oh well. I also was
given an extension since I was one of the last there at 12:45am. Oy.
Now I need some sleep. Art history in the morning. Last lecture before the
test on Monday. I need to study my ass off. Also a French quiz on the
conditional. I think I've got the past conditional down, but I'm confusing
myself in the present. Too much that's familiar and yet different. Ahh!
Au revoir pour maintenant, mes amis. Je vous adore. :-)
Current Music: 'Round Here - Counting Crows
03/22/04, 10:00pm.
She said "Goodbye, I guess" and lifted up her dress...
The internet is down. And has been for several hours. I'm uber pissed
off cause I want to be online! It's actually more distracting not
having internet access...who knew? I keep trying to fix it, though
I know that I cannot. Oy.
So I'm a little stressed out. Lela apologized to me today for me being so stressed.
Which makes no sense, but it was appreciated none the less. I have an Advertising
paper due tomorrow that I'm about halfway done, because we have a maximum page
ceiling? I can't think of the word, but either way...it sucks and I can't write
a decent paper in only 1200 words. I feel like I can't support my arguments.
And I should have gotten help from my Professor or AI, but there wasn't time
because I would have had to have finished it before Spring Break... two days
after getting the assignment in the first place. Yeah, that was going to happen.
And if you've been playing along at home, you know I'm not doing very well
in my Advertising class. And to add insult to injury, I have a test on Thursday.
How can I be doing so poorly in a class? I can't get a C...it will bring
down my GPA, I'll be kicked out of the two honors societies I just paid $50
to be a part of, and I'll be off the Dean's List. And it's not only this
class....I don't think I'm getting an A in anything but English. I'm in 6
classes, and I'm only doing well in 1 of them?!?! AHHHHH!
*breathes*
I also have an English assignment/paper due this week, French quiz on the conditionel,
which kicked my ass as we tried to relearn today in class. Wow, I do not remember
how to form that one. Well...infinitive or futur simple stem with the imparfait
endings. But still. The past conditional is even more confusing. Avoir or etre
in conditional form with the past participal of a verb. I won't remember that.
J'aurais ÈtÈ intelligent, si je n'aurais pas pris une class de franÁais. Or
something...
Oh, and I found out today that the ballet is this weekend. I promised
Justin that I would come (oh, by the way, we got engaged last night...)
because I missed Nutcracker. But I need to go home for Eric's birthday
thing on Saturday. I am already counting down the hours until I can go
back home. I miss it so much already. I talked to Whitney on the phone
today, and I want to see her! So if I see the ballet Friday night and
wait to leave until 11pm, I can be home around 3am. But then I don't
see Whitney before she leaves for Spring Break in Florida. And I'm driving
really late at night, and potentially alone. Though it would only be
2am when I get in, due to the time change...
I need to get back to the paper. I want to go to bed at a decent hour.
Oh damn.
Current Music: In The Car - Barenaked Ladies
03/22/04, 12:38am.
Somebody's eyes are seeing me loving you...
How much is lost in 21 grams?
We just watched 21 Grams, which is still so damn incredible. I
think it might be one of my favorites. Intense, emotional, brilliant.
The drive home was alright. 4 hours, so pretty quick. Spent a lot of
it singing loudly along with my iPod.
I wish I could be home this week. I'm not looking forward to classes
and everything starting back up tomorrow. I didn't work AT ALL on my
advertising paper, which means that I'm going to have to do it all
tomorrow, and it's going to suck just like the first one. I can handle
getting a C in one class, but I'm doing poorly in several. Bs mostly,
but enough to drag down my GPA severely. I need to work harder. But
the thought of that currently is pretty overwhelming. I was thinking
of using either computers or cigarettes as my commodity. Oy, so much
work.
This upcoming weekend I'll be making a return home though. Eric is having
a big birthday celebration (28 is so OLD!) so I'll be taking part in
that.
Yesterday at this time I was at Denny's in Highland Park with Allie and
Nikki, mocking the Turnabout group that was there and indulging in late-night
grease of a Moons Over My Hammy. Crazy shit. We ended up there after having
dinner with Mommy Brooke, then stopping by Candace's to see Carly before
Nik and I left. Oh, and Becca's hair was very cute, though I didn't do much
to help.
Summer is coming up soon. Well...5 weeks. And it's spring, so that's a major
plus, right? April's on the horizon, and after that...it's all smooth sailing.
Just have to wait. And work. And it will come.
Current Music: Somebody's Eyes - Footloose
03/20/04, 5:58pm.
I don't want you back, you're only the best I've ever had...
My computer is almost up to it's old potential. Thanks to Jason, I have
Dreamweaver, Fireworks and Flash back...so my site can start to be updated
more often. The post from last night (or rather, uber early this morning)
was written in a Word doc, then copy and pasted. We also transferred all of
my iPod songs into my iTunes, thanks to iPodRip. Yay. Now my only problem are
those ugly Adium smiley faces. I need cute emoticons!!
Anywho, I'll be heading back to the Crystal residence in a bit to help Becca
get ready for Turnabout and do her hair...maybe. I don't know how much help
I'll be, but I feel bad that I didn't get a chance to talk to her more last
night.
Later, I think I'll be having dinner at Caitlin's house, so yeah. I think I said
that in the last post. Oh man, I can't keep up with my own blogging. That means
it's time to end the entry.
Oh, and I won a free iTunes song today, and have since redeemed it for the song I'm
listening to right now. "Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)" by Vertical Horizon,
'cause I heard it in the car earlier and it seemed like a good choice.
Current Music: Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) - Vertical Horizon
03/20/04, 3:55am.
I know I've left too much mess and destruction to come back again...
Today was quite long, but quite excellent. In fact, the past couple days have
been. Wednesday, I went to visit school. Got to visit with Huff, which is always
excellent. Also saw a ton of other people and visited with Eric. That night
was St. Patty’s and it was overall pretty good.
Thursday night we went to see a Dance Concert at the high school, which was
not too bad. Afterward, we were going to see a movie, but nothing good
was playing at the times we needed, so Eric, Caitlin, Zoe, Nikki and I just
sat around and talked for a long while. It was fantastic and a good time.
Today was the hectic one. Lunch with Patty and Mulder, school with Zoe to visit
Tani and her class of Becca, Whitney, Ned, Natalie and others. Talked with Kaplan
for a tad, visited with Eric more. Nikki and I went to get her food and headed
to Barnes. I got a really good book by Peter Biskind titled Easy Riders, Raging
Bulls, about the Hollywood Renaissance of the late 60’s to early 70’s.
So interesting! Then we went back to school…I met up with Molly and Zoe
and we headed to Chipotle to get them food before going back to Barnes. I got
to talk to Molly one-on-one which I haven’t done in a while. Then was
the shindig at Patty’s around 7:30, where I was the only girl for a first
while. Nik and I split around 8:20 to walk across the street and visit with
Becca. I wasn’t able to stay long because Zoe, Molly, Johnson, Mellovitz
and I went up to Kenosha for Fazoli’s dinner at 9. Johnson and I drove
separately and had an awesome conversation. I love that kid. Dinner was fun,
as usual. Amanda called from Harvard Square and sounded like she was having
a blast. I hope her spring break out east is good! After dinner, we came back
to my house to chill before the kids had to go home for curfew. Zoe went home
at midnight as well, because she was tired, and I headed back to Patty’s
for the last three hours of his party.
Phew. I got home around 3am, had a good, but brief discussion with Mulder about
politics, George Bush, Iraq, a turtle and mandated moments of silence. Quite
interesting indeed. Much enjoyed on my end.
Now, I’m getting to bed, because tomorrow I’m seeing El Crystol,
maybe some Turnabout kids before the dance (like Whitney who was grounded and
couldn’t get coffee with me today) and then dinner tomorrow is with Caitlin’s
Mommy, Zoe, Allie, Caitlin (duh) and me. I’m looking forward to it. So
much trouble!
Current Music: White Flag - Dido
03/15/04, 10:50pm.
I won't throw up my hands and surrender...
Reason #238472348 That I Love Deerfield:
It's barely 32° outside, and flurries are so sporadic that you can't tell
that it's snowing unless you look at a street lamp. But the plows and salt trucks
were at the ready a half-hour after the "snow" began.
Today I had doctor's appointments. The first with evil lady who I dislike. The
second with the gyne. At least she didn't put me in stirrups. I have until June
for that. Both were fine. I have low blood pressure. Odd, n'est pas?
I went on a wild goose chase after for a jacket. All I wanted was a light, spring,
wind-breaker, semi-waterproof jacket. Is that too hard??? Well, yes. It actually
is. So I finally found one I liked at Marshall Field's, but I had to go to three
different ones to find the right one. $65 later, I have a nice spring coat.
Yay.
Tomorrow is eye doctor appointment and Art Institute day!! YAY! So far, me,
Allie, Nikki, Zoe and Ben will be hanging at the AIC. Mmm...art!
Then Wednesday is St. Patty's...a perfect time to exercise my 1/12th Irish,
or something like that. Woo-hoo.
And to bed I go, but I leave you with this: The
Ladder Theory. Thanks to mi amour Whitney for the link. ;-)
Current Music: White Flag - Dido
03/12/04, 5:08pm.
Who you gonna wave to? This time you're not homecoming king...
Perhaps you've noticed a lack in the updates. Well...there is a very good reason
for this. My computer is sick. :-(
Last Sunday, I was sitting down, working on something, and it got very pokey,
I tried to quit programs and things just took forever. Finally, I had to force
quit and shut it all down.
When I went to turn it back on again, I got a nice blank screen with an Apple
in the middle...and that was it. It made odd noises, and when I tried to boot
from disk, nothing happened. It just sat there. A very expensive paperweight
and nightlight.
Yesterday I drove home from school for Spring Break, and since I was passing
Old Orchard around 8pm, I decided to stop in and let them try to fix it. My
genius, David, told me what I had already guessed. The computer wasn't acknowledging
the hard drive. [Though he didn't take my initial idea, and went the long way
around it, trying everything that I had already done.] Anyway, David said he
would have it run some long loop-y tests overnight and he would futz with it
again today, before sending it out for external repair. I should have Jack back
within 10 days. *sigh*
So I'm losing all of my data. Some stuff isn't horrible...the site has all of
it's files saved on the server, so those can easily be retrieved. While it may
be a pain in the ass, I can re-rip all of my CDs into iTunes. All my music is
on my iPod anyway. I have all old documents from before August 2003 (when I
got Jack) on disks. Most digital pictures I have on disks as well, though I
did just lose several of the most recent ones. I have the smaller, poor-quality
versions from the site though. Such a pain in the ass.
In better news, I went shopping today and bought a lovely "Citrus Kate" colored
Sak. I was in desperate need for a new purse, and it was much cheaper than the
$150 Coach I was coveting. Or so I keep telling myself...
Tonight, I think I'll be having Fazoli's with Zoe, Molly, Mellovitz, and who
knows who else. It's good to be home.
Current Music: Homecoming King - Guster
03/06/04, 5:42pm.
I don't get many things right the first time...
Hmm...I just got an email saying I wasn't attending class for math, and in danger
of failing. [...] But I do attend. And I get the attendance quizzes. I've missed
one. That's it. I'm getting an A for homework, averaging a B on tests, and an
A for attendance. Something smells fishy...
Today was quite wonderful. Had lunch with Eric at Lou Malnati's. GOOD pizza!
It was incredible. Then we saw Jason's show Closer, which was quite remarkable
and has me thinking in a British accent, if that makes any sense at all. Heavily
sex-oriented show, but so intelligent. And excellent performances. Made me think
a great deal, which might not be that good...
Then Jason and I stopped by the Dance Marathon to see Kay. Wonderful girl, she
is. So incredibly sweet. He's a lucky boy. :-)
Now I'm home. I have tickets tonight for Footloose, and since I have
an extra, I'm stealing my Beccalina to see it again. With any luck, I'll be
hanging out with Johnson later. Good kid. Maybe I'll see Molly and others as
well. I miss my kids.
And a somewhat un-related ramble: I need to get guts. Why is it so hard to ask
someone out for coffee or something? I don't have any indecent intentions, I
just want to talk. Get to know. All that jazz. But I'm a wuss and always have
been. So I'll probably stick to hugging my Wish Bear at night and hoping he
asks for my number, so I don't have to worry about it. *sigh* Someday.
Current Music: The Luckiest - Ben Folds
03/06/04, 10:27am.
They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking
alone...
It's a beautiful Saturday morning. Let's keep it that way...
The world needs changes. What are you going do to?
[Thanks to Amanda for the link.]
Current Music: Piano Man - Billy Joel