04/30/04, 1:05am.
I thought we'd be precious together, but I was sadly mistaken...
Today was the last hard day I had to get through. From
here on in, it's a downhill coast.
One more class, tomorrow in French. Then four
final exams next week, and one paper. I took
my Advertising test today. While it was not
wonderful, I'm just hoping it was on par with
my other C efforts, because I got an 87% on my
paper that was handed back today!!!!!!!!! That's
the first non-C and the highest grade I've gotten
all semester in this wretched class. It's about
fucking time!
Also today, I took down all of my posters. 5 big ones,
and about ten 11x14. Everything looks so empty now,
but I'm leaving in a little over a week. I also packed
another box with some more books and my photo box and
some CDs. Little by little. Next, I'm hitting the clothes
hard so the parents can take it all back on Sunday.
Still counting down the days...but it's coming so
quickly now.
I've been playing around on the new iTunes update. I
much approve of the Party Shuffle, and I think it's
damn hot that movie traillers and music videos are
now available at the iTunes Music Store. And! I used
a free song today that I had had forever, and by
doing the Ben & Jerry's thing, got another one. So
now I can browse even more!
The latest song? "Simple Together" by Alanis Morissette
from her Feast on Scraps CD/DVD set. I still need
to invest in that. Damn, if I don't love me some Alanis.
Youíve been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Canít go to you for consolation
Cause weíre off limits during this transition
Current Music: Simple Together - Alanis Morissette
04/28/04, 3:00pm.
Hello darkness, my old friend...
Spent the past couple days loading more music
onto my iTunes. Almost all of my CDs are on now.
But that means that I currently have over 10GBs
of music...so my iPod is full and I have to be
all picky-choosy. I do not approve.
This morning, Katie and I slept through Art. The
last day too...we kinda felt guilty. Both of us
figured that if we turned off our alarms, the other
would wake us up. Yeah...that doesn't work if neither
sets an alarm. Oh well...
Tomorrow is my last day for Hollywood II and Finite.
It's my final for Advertising (YAY! ALMOST DONE!) and
a final review for Art History. Then I'll be turning
in the rough draft of my English paper. After that?
Friday I only have French. Then 4 tests to study for
and a paper to revise. So close to the end.
5 classes, 5 tests and a paper. Not that I'm counting...
This weekend is our floor Indy trip. We're going to
the Art Museum, seeing Kill Bill Vol. 2, eating
dinner at the Spaghetti Factory and spending the
night in a hotel. Yeah, we have floor funds to use up.
Should be a good time...I think there are about 17 of
us going.
I figure I'll call mommy soon to see how the move went,
and to see when she'll be coming on Sunday to pick up
my stuff. I'm starting to pack early so that it won't
be so much stuff come next Friday. I'm so ready to get
the hell out of here. Home!
Time to get to work. Study for Advertising as much as
I can. Maybe I can raise my grade to a B if I get a
high enough grade on the test. Yeah, probably not.
At least I know I'll do well on my English paper.
Current Music: Sound of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel
04/27/04, 3:00am.
I really wanna know...
Whoa. Just watched Mulholland Drive.
[...]
SOOOOOOOO fucked up. Good, but crazy. I get it, but
at the same time, I really don't. And it was eerie.
I might have nightmares...
So I'll stay up and work some more on English. I should
really email my outline before office hours tomorrow.
Current Music: Who Are You? - The Who
04/25/04, 3:07pm.
Always ten steps behind, always ten feet below...
I lost time last night. I went to Dance Show again.
It was again, good. Then I went up to Chris's house,
which is now officially hers. :-)
I got home at midnight...and I suppose I fell asleep
around 1am? All I know is that I woke up at 9am, with
my light on, fully clothed, my computer still sitting
open on my bed. Huh.
So I got into pajamas, took my intense round of meds,
and put my computer our of harms way...and went back
to sleep.
I finally rework up at 1pm. Mmm...12 hours of sleep, I
think. I went to lunch with Molly at DogOut. Mmm...hot
dog and fries. And Molly! Yesterday, I saw 13 Going
on 30 with Whitney. And of course I saw my Becca at
Dance Show. Yay for my girls!
Now, I'm making a futile attempt to finish (or, uh...start)
an English outline that was supposed to be emailed to her
by 4pm. Uh...or not. But I'm trying. I have a few things
loosely outlined. But I really need to start heading back
down to school. I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me. And I'm
still kinda sleepy and rundown. I'd love to take a nap before
I leave, but that's not going to happen. So I'll probably
just wait for my last bit of laundry to finish, and then
head on back to Indiana. Oh yippy.
Sunday has been unproductive. Perhaps I should have stayed
up when I woke at 9am...
Current Music: Agony - Into the Woods (2002)
04/24/04, 1:36am.
I've wanted more from this than anything I've ever known...
Today has been fruitful and quite busy.
Start the day with waking up healthier. Good. Then Zoe
was dropped off. The poor baby has had lice for three
days because her hair is so thick and abundant that it's
been impossible to get all the eggs, though Chris has
tried for hours upon hours. Pauvre fille.
After slacking for a while, sending my English teacher
a thing that was due a few days ago, but which she
said I could turn in late for full credit (rock!)
and showering, Zoe and I went up to Judy's house. It
was basically all packed up. Daddy was finishing organizing
and packing up the truck. They had been at it since about
8:30am, I think, and had a lot accomplished by 1pm.
We had lunch and Zoe and I hung around for a while. Then
I took the kid up to Dave and Katie's, so she could
play games, I could visit puppy Koda and we could hang
with Katie. 'Twas quite a good time. Puppy is so cute,
though Simba was much more interested in me than Koda.
Oh well.
I left at 5, 'cause I had to get down here for dance
show. I had to futz with my computer. The internet was
down, and after trying everything for about a half hour,
it turned out that a simple restart knocked everything
into place. Well then.
So I finished up some laundry, straightened my hair (ooo,
special. At least Raven complimented it), and got dressed
up a bit. Or rather, dressed. I had looked like a scrub
all day. As usual when going somewhere alone, I got unnecessarily
and inexblicably nervous. Silly Gail.
But when I got there, I easily found Crystal and Kay. I got
my ticket, and we all went in. I was sitting alone, cause it
was a single comp'ed ticket, and Jason and Kay were with the
Crystal parents. The show was good. Some pieces that were sub-par,
but many that impressed me. Obviously the best were the guest
choreographer piece and Tarah's (one of the sponsors), but there
was also a lot of other talent. The officers piece was fun,
"Rock Star" was very good, Becca's piece was awesome, the
Senior piece made me cry, and the video montage was especially
impressive this year. There was at least one other piece I really
liked (Jon Lehrer's, Tarah's, Hillary/Rikki/Lauren's, and another.
Damn, I forgot). Anyway, the show was really good.
Afterward, I talked with the Crystal parents for a while, I saw
Mulder, I spoke briefly to Johnson and Raven, didn't really get
to talk to Eric at all, but hung around with Jason and Kay. Of
course, I got to see Mia Beccalina, who is wonderful as always.
I adore that girl so much. Did I mention I cried during her piece?
Well, I did. ;-)
I actually ended up taking Jason and Kay back to Evanston tonight, cause
the silly kids weren't staying in Deerfield overnight. Waa-Mu
tech starts tomorrow? If anyone's interested, you should
see it
at NU [careful, the link has music] either next weekend or the weekend
after. I went last year and it was a fun show. I think the only chance
I'd get to see the show is May 9th at 2pm. I dunno if it'll happen...
On the way home, I called Zoe and we ended up talking for well
over an hour (maybe an hour and a half?) which was much needed
on both ends. I'm such a crazy mess right now...trying to figure
out life, but the pieces don't seem to fit in my puzzle. I need
to organize...whatever it is I'm currently living...but right now
I'm too busy with school almost at an end. I guess that's the price
I pay. Maybe this summer everything will fall into place and
find it's own order. Or maybe everything will be even more complex
and complicated and I'll end up saying, "why couldn't things be like
three weeks ago, when I was only going 75% crazy?!" I guess only
time will tell. Just as only time will heal, and only time will
erase and produce. Stupid time. I should've stopped it years ago.
Who said progression was good? Not me, honey. Definitely not me.
Anywho, definitely felt better after the phone call, but I'm
still trying to pick up my pieces. But just like Dear Joan,
some have scattered too far. You see, they flew when I kicked them.
Mmm...crazy and beautiful lyrics. I wonder how long it will
take to pick them all up. Or if it's even possible. Maybe life
was never supposed to be in order. And those who think that they
have everything planned and perfect, are really just hiding their
failures...or something.
Meh, enough of all of this. I think it's time to sleep. The parents
leave for Florida in about an hour and 20 minutes. One of them is
already awake, I hear someone upstairs. Silly creeky floor. Gives
away the insomniac every time.
Current Music: Dear Joan - Tabitha's Secret
04/23/04, 10:12am.
My canteen had sprung a leak and I was...thirsty...
Last night, I had the best night of sleep I've had since
last Saturday. I only woke up once, and I got a total of
10 hours!!! I've been getting about 7 max, and waking up
around 4 or 5 times a night. It was heavenly. AND! My eyes
weren't grossly red this morning! Just a little pink, around
the edges.
So my spirits are lifted, I'm feeling more healthy. I'm wishing
I could hear out of my left ear, but in due time, I'm sure.
Soon, I shall shower and get ready to meet Mommy and Judy for
some packing and lunch. I told Molly I'd stop by crew, but
I don't think I'll be able to. :-(
However! I will see people tonight at Dance Show! *snoopy dance*
Sooooo excited.
Well, busy day ahead, I must be off. Not being at school rocks.
Mmm...sick days.
Current Music: Over the Moon - RENT
04/22/04, 2:52pm.
I don't want you back, you're just the best I ever had...
I woke up this morning a little after 5:45am with my
ear in the worst pain I have ever felt. I couldn't
help but cry. But that hurt too, because my eyes,
both of them, were BRIGHT red, pink eye style. I
got up and washed my face, especially around my
eyes, and took three Aleve. I waited until 6:30, and I called my mommy,
in tears, just like when I was 5 and I'd get sick.
She said I should go to the health center, and
then come home. I was going to be heading back
today anyway, I was just planning on going to my
four classes first. The health center didn't open
until 8, so I had about an hour between talking
to mommy and leaving to walk there (I figured the
closer to 8am I got there, the better). So in that
time, I showered, which was uber painful on the ear,
and then I packed up everything I would be taking home.
I got all my laundry together, and packed up all my
books and shit. With finals a little over a week away,
I have a ton of work to be doing.
At health services, the computers were down (as they
were all around campus) but they were still pretty quick
and I was seen within 20 minutes. It turns out I have
an ear infection (I coulda told you that) and the eye
thing is just a spread of the same infection (not pink
eye!). So I got amoxicillin and lubricant eye drops.
The eye drops I use every two hours, I'm supposed to
take 2 Advil every 4 hours (to stop the swelling in my
ear which is causing a blood clot) and amoxicillin every
8 hours. Intense.
But I'm feeling so much better now. I guess the real
test will be tonight. It's always worse at night, and
I end up waking up every few hours, my nose running and
my ear ringing, and my eyes tearing. It sucks and is so
uncomfortable.
But tomorrow I see Dance Show! I'm excited to see mia
Beccalina Ballerina, and also to see Jason and Kay. It
should be a fun event. During the day tomorrow, I'll be
helping my aunt Judy pack for her move to Florida. She
leaves with my mom, dad and aunt Bonnie at 3am Saturday
morning. So exciting. I don't know about the rest of the
weekend. I have the house to myself Saturday and Sunday,
so I'll either get a lot of work done, or none at all.
Mmm...extremes.
And now, I nap. Cause I've been up since 5:45. And I drove
for 4 hours.
Current Music: Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) -
Vertical Horizon
04/20/04, 9:28pm.
I've messed up better, I should know...
Today is the 5th anniversary of Columbine, and no one
seems to notice. I have seen nothing in the papers
around here, and there is no "in remembrance" hullabaloo.
How petty be we Americans? Or is this what we call
"healing"? We'll just have to wait and see what happens
on 9/11/06.
For the first time in far too long, my only homework
today has been a math assignment (as usual, two a week)
and French. SUCH a light load! I am definitely grateful.
And tomorrow English is cancelled. Hot damn.
As for the rest of my night, I would try to retire early,
but I know that would not happen. And besides, being sick
is causing me to sleep like shit. I've gone through an
entire box of tissue since yesterday. Sucks, don't it?
On a happier note, I go home in two days. *happy dance*
Oh yeah, I'm stoked.
Also, Citizen Ruth is an excellent movie. The ending...
Oh. My. God. Brilliant. SOOOOOO incredible.
Enough of my randomness, I'm going to...do something else.
Current Music: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
04/19/04, 9:57pm.
Tomorrow we'll discover what our god in heaven has in store...
http://www.thelouisvillechannel.com/education/3020795/detail.html
As my English teacher said, "there's some good advertising for the graduate school."
All I heard what that this guy was a French grad student and sometime around noon
(we heard ambulences after art history),
he threw a chair through a window on the 8th floor of Ballantine (offices), and
after, threw himself out.
That's some really crazy shit. Good thing I'm not going to grad school, eh?
To entirely change subjects, I'm sick. I don't know what with, but I'm all
sore and achy. My back and neck especially. I've been having a ton of headaches
and my throat hurts. My nose started running today...ya know...to add insult to
injury.
And now, I'm working on an Advertising paper. My favorite class ever! Or not.
The fucker can never seem to allow me to get above a C! It's sooooo frustrating!
Not to mention that a lot of my other classes are at the A- range, so I should put
a little more oomph into them and pull it up. Maybe my charming personality will
help. [...] Maybe not.
Urg. Work to do. 3 more days and I go home!!! YAY!
Current Music: One Day More - Les MisÈrables
04/17/04, 12:28am.
Someone like you is always leaving...
Woke up this morning, after 11 hours of sleep and an
excellent dream involving going to the Aerosmith
concert, which was actually at a house party. And the
floors were made with puffy leather, like walking on
a leather couch. Odd, but so excellent. It made me
entirely too excited for the concert...which isn't for
another month and a half. Oh well...not too bad.
For starting so well, however, it's ending rather poorly.
Classes were mediocre and hard to sit though. Picnic
outside was beautiful, but not wonderful. Miss Gay IU was
entertaining until the jackasses behind us got drunk and
starting being entirely too obnoxious and talking about
how the show sucked. Bitter gay men...never fun.
Next weekend I come home. But now I have to try and decide
whether I ditch my Friday classes so I can see Dance Show
then with Jason and Kay, or come home as planned and wait
to see it on Saturday. Either way, I'm far too excited about
coming home. I've been here too long, it's making me go
insane. Zoe was supposed to call me an hour ago "when she got into
Canada" but no ring from her yet. Boo. Ou est mes amis?
On a semi-related, semi-cryptic, unnecessarily unhappy note: I need
courage, patience and all those other fun things that I am lacking.
Maybe I need to get a grip. Maybe that's it.
It's Mommy's birthday today. I should have sent a card, but like
my father's birthday, she'll be getting a "I suck as a child because
I can't mail things on time, happy belated!" card. Of which Hallmark
makes several.
So much work this weekend. I should get to sleep. Or drive for a very
long time and see where I end up. Yeah, maybe that's the ticket. I
am beginning to think that I am Victoria...
Current Music: Twisted - Stretch Princess
04/14/04, 3:48pm.
There's just too much that time cannot erase...
It's become somewhat of a tradition for me to write
something today, or around this day. For the past
couple years, however, it's been tucked into a locked
Livejournal post with only 20 perfect strangers able
to read the feable attempts to cope with a tragedy
that has come to define so much of who I am. And
yet, despite the huge impact on my life, I rarely,
if ever, share it with others. 6 years and it's still
too personal, too painful, too earth-rattling. I
know that there is something wrong when I can't cope
with it. Something about how it is often glazed over
in my family, and rarely openly discuss it. There's
something not right about my inability to deal with
things so long after the fact. But it still hurts so
much. Not like it happened yesterday. Not anymore, at
least. But now, it's still so sobering. All day I've
been too quiet, too sad, too close to tears. And I
hate it, but there's so little that I can do. And I'm
doing all that I can...
Each year it becomes more distant. It was worse last
year, with the passing of a friend's mother. The entire
week was filled with mourning, and sitting shiva. And to
add to it, I was teching Dance Show and in rehearsals for
the Spring play. Everyday was tourturous and long. I
kept falling asleep and was always unhappy. Today, I'm
surrounded by people who are petty and care only for their
own problems, thinking that cramps are an ordeal to make
an entire day awful. There's nothing I want more than
to be home right now. To be with and around people I love,
because even if they don't understand, or if they don't
know why I'm feeling down, they can recognize it and
not start complaining about the test they just did
poorly on, because at home people realize that that's
a shitty thing to worry about when someone is really
hurting.
I'm not in the right place of mind to write. I feel like
all I'm accomplishing is bitching and whining, and that
doesn't belong on a webpage. So I'll probably go lay down.
Or try to write my huge Hollywood II paper that is due
tomorrow morning...the one I haven't started yet. I'm not
in the mood to write a paper...but I will.
Current Music: My Immortal - Evanescence
04/14/04, 10:44am.
These wounds won't seem to heal...
Here's hoping y'all have a good day.
Current Music: My Immortal - Evanescence
04/12/04, 10:38pm.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone...
Today was not too bad, but rather dull. I'm currently
working on a French composition. Death, but oh well.
It's not due until Wednesday. The highlight of my day
was talking to Zoe on the phone for over an hour. I
like friends.
That and I realized that I only have two and a half weeks
of classes left. Ahh...that is happiness. Then finals,
then home. And in a week and a half, I'm home for Dance
Show. This is all very repetative, I know. But oh well.
I'm trying to decide if I can ditch math tomorrow so
that I can meet with my English teacher and work on my
upcoming paper. Sometime this week, I have to get to the
library as well. Mmm...research. :-p
Current Music: My Immortal - Evanescence
04/12/04, 12:58am.
You woke up screaming aloud...
Dinner was quite yummy. Olive Garden = so good. And
there were 11 of us, so it was nice and big. Yay for
friends and all that jazz.
I've done some studying for art. Decided to do my
French composition tomorrow between lunch and English.
I should remember to bring my dictionary with me.
Enough of that random crap. Lately, I've been talking
a lot with Allie, which is so nice. There's no feeling
better than knowing that you have someone to whom you
can always turn. It would be nice if she were closer
than New Hampshire, but oh well. I wish a lot of my
friends were closer...but that's nothing new. I'm a
bit homesick recently. Actually spending weekends at
home became the norm for a while, and now I haven't
been back in Deerfield since Eric's birthday a couple
weekends back. It's only been three weeks since I was
home, but it feels like an eternity. This weekend I had
the option to go to Miami of Ohio for Caitlin's birthday,
but I decided it would be better for me to not leave
so much. Not to mention that there was the opera on
Friday night, and dinner today. I didn't really get anything
accomplished here this weekend, but what's new there? I
should learn to not go home. I'm so weird. At the beginning
of the year, it was three months before I went home. Now,
I can't stand to be away for more than three weeks. It's
fucked up. Maybe it's the winter? I realize it's spring
now, but winter stretched from January through April in
my little world, and it's always hard to get motivated or
to maintain any sort of stability in life. Winter is crazed and
unpredictable. Winter is awful and unrelentless. Winter
is unforgiving, and unforgivable. I realize this is pretty
cryptic, but soon it will all be over. April will fade to
the rest of the year. That's how my world works. Winter
and the rest of the year.
Six years ago, this day was Easter. April 12th. Sunday. It was bright and sunny.
I was at my aunt Judy's house for a family Easter dinner. So young back then.
I was so damn naive. I still went to church, and though I don't think it meant
much to me in a religious sense, Easter was still a pretty big deal...a family
event. And today it was spent with 11 people sitting around a table at Olive
Garden. Time is fucking crazy. When I think of all the things that has changed.
The friends I picked up in high school. The confidence I gained, the knowledge,
the experiences. I still have a long way to go, but 6 years ago, Easter didn't
mean the same thing that it does today, and April wasn't vile. January wasn't
something to be feared and dreaded. Life was normal. And today, nothing is the
same as it ever was then. I don't trust the future, and I don't believe in planning
my life. Nothing is black and white anymore...everything is an odd and eerie
gray. Marriage means nothing and life is taken for granted. People hear my philosophies
on life and they cry, apologizing that I have to live with thoughts like that. Call
me the pessimist, or call me the cynic, but 6 years ago today I was neither.
Current Music: Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan
04/11/04, 6:00pm.
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown...
Ahh...Easter. I have done nothing to celebrate
except eat pastel-colored M&Ms for lunch. Jesus
who?
Tonight a big group of us (about 10) are going to
Olive Garden for an "easter" dinner, which is being
split between me, Justin and Katie's parents credit
cards. Mmm...free meal for all!
Tonight, I shall be working on my French composition,
studying for my Art History quiz. Blarg. But the good
new is...my Advertising paper isn't due until next
Tuesday, so I only have my Hollywood II paper due
this week (Thursday).
And now, I finish getting all dressed up. I haven't gone
out in a while, so I'm taking advantage of dinner to
prettify myself. ;-)
Current Music: Take a Chance on Me - Mamma Mia! Soundtrack
04/09/04, 11:57pm.
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use...
Today was overall neutral. Some good stuff, like my
lack of classes, English being very tiny (8 people)
and quite fun, and ... huh. I could've sworn there
was something else good. Oh! I hung out a bit with
Lela, Justin, Ryan and Sam. Fruit flies...always.
I think I have my schedule for the fall planned out, if it will all work. And!
I won't have Friday classes. And I still managed to get in 6 classes (the max),
and none of them starts before 11:15, nor runs later that 5:30. I really hope
it all works, because I'm taking 1) a course on Stanley Kubrick (credit toward
major), 2) a course on current topics in the media called: Queering Sexuality
and Gender in the Media (credit toward major), 3) an astrology class called
Stars and Galaxies (math/science credit), 4) an art history class all about
Picasso (credit toward minor), 5) a modern lit class (intensive writing, culture
studies and arts/humanities credit!) and 6) Stage Managing (maybe I'll be pursuaded
back to the theatre department...)
I'm semi-excited. I register in two weeks. I also
come home in two weeks to see Dance Show! OPA!!!
I'm so incredibly excited. I'll get to see Mia
Beccalina dance, as well as visit around school
and the crew.
Yuck. Not only do I feel a bit under the weather
and slightly bloated (yum), but lately other
people's moods have been rubbing off, and my
roommate has been less than happy. She should feel
better so that I can stop feeling like shit
too.
Current Music: Driftwood - Travis
04/07/04, 3:45pm.
This pain is just too real...
I don't think today could have sucked more if it
tried. Got back a paper in Advertising. C/C- again.
What the hell? Why can't I get anything better than
a C in this class?!?!?!?!
Finite test wasn't too bad, but I have no idea if
I got a couple of them right. And everything is worth
so damn much on those tests! AHHH.
Oh, but that's not all. We got our tests back in Art
History and I was disappointed with a B+. That was
the least painful thing of the day, but I was really
hoping for an A.
In celebration of the suckitude, I got McDonalds on the
way home. Oh yeah. Fatty foods make everything better.
*sigh* I'm going to "get to work" by watching the DVD
special features for a Disney/Pixar film. I'm still
trying to decide between Toy Story, Monsters,
Inc. and Finding Nemo. I'm leaning toward
Monsters, but I think I only have Finding Nemo here.
The others, I just took the movie disk, not the features.
Oh well.
Current Music: My Immortal - Evanescence
04/07/04, 3:45pm.
And the cost was so much more than I could bear...
It is an absolutely gorgeous spring day. It's 73°
right now. Unfortunately it has given me an uneasy feeling.
Perhaps it's a bit too still. A bit too spring. A bit
too familiar. Like one of those days that takes you back
to playing at recess in elementary school, or other times
in your life. In a similar note, April is harsh.
The weather won't last long, and tomorrow will be cooler. It
seems like it will rain a bit later today.
I finished my French oral presentation, and I turned in my
English paper. With those out of the way, my stress level has
dropped a bit. However, in English today she gave us the next
three assignments...so that's drawing near. And I have papers
due in my CMCL classes next week. Hollywood and Advertising
at the same time! Booooo! And it doesn't help that I got a 77.5%
on the last Advertising test. Fuck me.
I think right now, though, I'm going to curl up with Wish Bear and enjoy some
quality Pirates of the Caribbean action. Johnny Depp can make anyday
better. Savvy?
Current Music: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
04/06/04, 8:42pm.
...
Personal assistant to Alan Rickman? YES PLEASE!!
We just finished watching Die Hard in Hollywood II, and I'd have to assert
that Hans Grueber is the hottest and best damn villain EVER. I'd do him. ;-)
Next up, Dogfight. Apparently a "chick movie" by a
woman director. Our AI likes it...and it's short. AND!
River Phoenix is in it!!!!! Mmmmm!!!
And I'm still working on that damn English paper that
is due tomorrow. When better to write a paper than during
a film screening?
Current Music: Ode to Joy - Beethoven
04/03/04, 11:43pm.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die without you...
Saw Laramie Project this afternoon. It was very good.
Wasn't what I expected, but the acting was excellent, and
the directing was strong. The first really good show I've seen
here. Sad that it took so long...
Then I napped and didn't get to the protest-corner, but Phelps
didn't show up. Oh well, it felt good to just attempt to do
something. I miss activism. I miss social justice. As messed
up and corrupt(?) as it was, I miss AWARE. At least it was
a forum to discuss ideas and events. I miss planning, even if
our huge hopes and anticipations often came up short. I guess
that's the first thing you learn...not every battle is going
to be successful. Not every fight will gain ground. Not every
war was meant to be won, and sometimes you don't even get to
put up a fight. But the last few days, I felt like I was
doing something, even if nothing huge came from it. It still
felt good. Solidarity is a powerful thing.
Tonight I didn't have the money to go to a Singing Hoosiers
concert, so I spent a few hours at Target and Barnes and Noble,
most of the time reading John Knowles' A Separate Peace.
Very good thus far. I came back when B&N closed, and now we are
apparently going to a Singing Hoosiers party. Not really in the
mood, but whatever. I'll try to have a good time.
Current Music: Without You - RENT
04/03/04, 1:41am.
I think you know what I've been trying to say...
Woke up this morning to a call from my niece, Zoe. It was
uber cute and a nice little talk. She stayed home from
Afterschool Care today because my sister had a really bad
migraine. Hopefully she's feeling better now.
Classes were alright. French test wasn't awful, but I'm
a tad concerned. As usual... English was boring boring
BORING, but after class, Marie helped me find sources for
my paper that will actually help to prove my thesis...so
that was nice.
The rest of today has been a bit of a blur. I napped. I helped
make more halos. The protesters again didn't show up, but
we waited outside the theatre for about an hour before the
show. I assume they'll show up tomorrow, since it's on the
website and it's been confirmed in newspaper articles. If
they don't, all the better. Who needs bigots?
Then we got dinner and watched a Singing Hoosiers coffeehouse
thing. Ross and Jon from the floor performed, so that was
cool. There were also other talented people. But it was
obviously aimed at the Singing Hoosiers, cause it felt like
a big inside joke, and I was on the outside. Oh well.
After, we took a little trip to CVS. I needed a new toothbrush
and other people needed stuff too. We've done some sitting
around, but I'm really exhausted, and just waiting for drama
to erupt is making me anxious, so I'm going to get to sleep
before the shit has a chance to hit the fan. Tomorrow will be
good?
Current Music: Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel) - Billy Joel
04/02/04, 12:37am.
It's just a jump to the left...
The protesters didn't come up for tonight. But Annie had the idea to make
gold pipe-cleaner halos to pass out, so we spent a couple hours making
over 350 halos and all of them got passed out. Nothing was formally planned
but so many people showed up. I'm so glad that I went to it all.
After the protesters didn't come tonight (oh, by the way...we're the first
on the schedule for www.godhatesfags.com. Don't go to it if you will get
upset, because it is awful)...we all went to Dunn Meadow to have the
Big Gay Dance Party. Which was fun. And big. And gay. And was
so amazing to see so many people. It was quite excellent.
Anyway, we've been sitting around and chilling. Katie's best friend
Sheridan is in town, and she's really fun!
And now, bed. I have a french test tomorrow...I'll study during lunch.
Current Music: Time Warp - Rocky Horror
04/01/04, 4:55pm.
...
I want to be written about in the NY Times. And further, I want the article
to be sent around college list-servs.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/01/theater/01GYPS.html?ex=1081850924&ei=1&en=ad908d0deaf18976
Where is my talent?! Ben Cohen is a lucky bastard. And went to all the schools
I went to. Talent! I want it!!!
Big Gay Dance Party time. Rev. Phelps is going down! Yay Laramie Project.
04/01/04, 2:29pm.
...
Happy April Fool's Day...it's cold! Spring seems to have decided to hide from
this most vicious "holiday," and I would much like to do the same. Ah, but I
had class upon class upon class, and now I have to meet with my English teacher
so that I can figure a way to make my paper not suck.
Anywho, today I'm watching Apocalypse Now, which by the clips I've seen
in class, looks absolutely amazing. Just beautiful. Coppola rocks, and I still
must see Godfather, Parts I and II.
This weekend marks the beginning of Passover. I want to be home, for no real
reason except that I miss all the mocking by eating leven bread and corn syrup.
Mmm...leven bread. Nah, that's not really it. It's just sad that everyone here
calls winter break "Christmas break" and so many people are talking about Easter
coming up. Screw Easter! Give me some Sedar goodness!
I'm sort of, maybe, half-contemplating coming back home this weekend. I know
I shouldn't because I was just home, but it all depends on the circumstance.
Mmm...crypticness. ;-)
Well, I don't have my power cord with, so I should really work on conserving
battery life. Ahh...fun.
Current Music: Jazz in the IMUG
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